c7-values

I recently stopped working in the restaurant industry, recently retired from the restaurant industry as I like to put it, after a twenty year plus stretch. I find it hard to explain the values I hold myself to without drawing examples from the life experiences I gained while working as a cook, a waiter and a bartender. So, well, indulge me for a minute.

One of the first things I was told when I entered the fast paced and hot tempered work place of the service industry was that if you encounter a problem, try and fix it yourself before asking for help. I may have been told this merely to be kept out of other people's hair, but it quickly became a mantra that I stuck to every day that I tied an apron on, and I still find myself sticking with as I work my way through the basics of programming. Being forced to rely on myself before others has been a tool that has had a domino effect on instilling other traits and values into my life as each day ticks by.

Sure, there are always points where you have to get help because moving forward is impossible without an outside influence, but in those times where you can make strides based on your own knowledge, skills and ideas the outcome and benefits are so much more rewarding. When one achieves some feat or overcomes some obstacle on their own, it leads to a sense of confidence, personal development, knowledge, and independence. Self-reliance is a building block for many other values in life that I hold myself to, and pushed me to discover skills and traits in myself I would have never known existed if I had asked for help in the first place. Without the ability to be self-reliant I don't think I would be here writing a blog for an assigment in the seventh week of a course on a topic I knew virtually nothing about two months ago. Accomplishing a feat or overcoming an obstacle by oneself provides the knowledge that one can do something once thought impossible, provides the confidence to forge ahead and try another unfamiliar and challenging thing, and teaches one to think on their feat to succeed as opposed to pushing away things that seem to be outside of their abilities.

I honestly can't remember the last time that someone asked me directly for my advice. Maybe that's on account of the fact that the people who know me, know me well enough to know what my answer will be: just go and try it for Christ's sake. If you are worried or afraid about doing something, you really only have to choices; either act or don't act. You are never going to get anywhere unless you actively have experiences in the first place. Those experiences are going to include failure and success. Those experiences are going to include a learning curve that may or may not lead to something. And those experiences are going to lead to other people looking at you or thinking about you in some way or another. Go out and prove something to yourself despite the outcome. Go and see what you can do despite what other people think. You might just learn something.

I think that the value of self-reliance plays an important role in the skill of dealing with the stereotype threat in life. As large of an importance that I place upon being self reliant I also think knowing your limits is of great importance. Go out there and act upon something and if you need help ask for it. There's nothing shameful in saying 'I can't do this by myself, can you help me through it'. Whether or not the person you ask for help thinks poorly of you should be of no consequence, as long as they are actively trying to help. Hell, ask advice from more than one person, get as much as you help as you can when you need help. But take it and make it your own. Be self reliant enough to know when the help or advice you get is really worth putting into action or practice.